to my dad

thank you for teaching me to love cooking...and have fun while doing it 

thank you for getting us out of sticky situations when we needed it most

thank you for teaching us to keep smiling and move forward, even when sailing through rough waters.

WE LOVE YOU! 

my christmas wish

my dad and i, chirstmas morning 1980

my dad has had a long road of "recovery" since his stroke 10 years ago.  for all of the strides he's made, he's had his fair share of setbacks.  many of these setbacks have been his own doing; the reasoning part of his brain was severely injured during the stroke.  his judgement and decision making skills are lacking which can lead to problems galore.  he's also had some plain horrible luck thrown in to this nasty mix.

two months ago he was hit by a car while crossing the street on his scooter.  the woman driving wasn't paying attention and plowed into him.  i have no idea how he walked away from this one, but he did.  his scooter was busted but he left the scene without a scratch, just his shaken nerves.

last sunday, he was on his scooter, cruising to get some food when he drove straight into an open hole in the ground.  a 6 foot hole.  he went head first, landing on a bunch of pipes below with his 100+lb. scooter landing on top of him.  this was a hole made by the city to fix some gas lines.  the workers left the hole open while they lunched at the taco cart.   once again, i'm amazed he didn't crack his head open...or much worse.  he is quite injured and hasn't slept much since this event.  he's suffering from horrible nightmares along with some severe pain throughout his body.

on one hand, i guess he has some of the best luck around.  he's survived two serious accidents in less than 3 months but also, i wish someone would cut this guy some slack.  enough is enough.  i hope 2011 brings him an accident free year.

down by the seaside

i'm at sfo international airport right now waiting for my plane back to long beach. i just spent the last three days with my dad on his new boat in sausalito. the ocean is this guy's element. i can relate. after his stroke he had to reevaluate a lot in his life. he no longer was able to practice law, the love of his life. this is a guy that planned to work until the day he died. sailing and flying airplanes were two hobbies he's had as long as i've been alive. once again flying was no longer an option post stroke so sailing has stepped into first place.

these past three days have been both peaceful and extremely stressful. watching a guy with balance issues getting on and off a moving boat is nerve wracking. i saw him almost fall a couple times inside the boat and i wanted to lecture him on what the hell he was doing here. does he have a death wish?! no, he has a passion.

he kept saying to me over and over these past few days, "isn't this the life?!" it is....if you don't think about it too hard. i'm scared to death he's going to fall off the boat and drown or crack his head inside the cabin while no one knows but i have to remind myself that he is happy here and more content than ever.

i admire his ability to make new friends where ever he goes and make the most of a situation. he's an adventurer, even in his weakened state. i get frustrated and he pushes on, smile on his face and wind in his white hair. many times this week i've had to go to my happy place so i didn't become the safety police.

i'm so glad he enjoys where he is right now. it's taken awhile for him to find his new spot in life. and life on the sausalito bay ain't half bad.

happy birthday dad!

my dad had a massive stroke 9 years ago.

the day before his stroke, his father died of a heart attack. my grandpa was about to go into surgery for his heart and didn't make it to the hospital. my dad drove to san francisco to pick up his mother to take her back to humbolt co. where they lived. it was a rough day already to say the least. on the drive north, my dad and my grandma stopped in wilits, ca. to get some gas. when they pulled up to the gas station, my dad was disorientated and couldn't figure out how to open his car door. when he finally did, he fell to the ground and passed out. stroke.

unfortunately wilits hospital is not the most high tech. they did not have a particular drug which stops the bleeding in the brain post stroke. he was in bad shape. when he was stabilized enough, he was medavac'd to fresno where my parents live. his new home was intensive care for about 3 weeks. the bleeding and swelling of his brain continued and they had to drill a hole in his skull to relieve the pressure. we were told more than once he wasn't going to make it. he was in and out of consciousness and hallucinating due to the bleeding and drugs. these were not happy hallucinations. he thought he was being abducted by aliens and was quite scared. seeing such a strong man, my dad....in this condition was unnerving.

the story is deeper and darker for other reasons but the main point is he survived. he came out of the hospital about a month later, unable to walk or go to the bathroom by himself. i moved back home from eugene, oregon to help my mom help my dad. the old bob was was a shell of what was left behind. mourning the loss of that person was the hardest.

fast forward to today and he's living on his own. he also has a boat in sausalito which is his LIFE. he is a man of the ocean and is happiest there. he can't use his left arm and has to walk with a cane but he's walking! if you'd never met him before you'd think his brain was 100%. knowing him well, you'd know he's lost a few things....but ask him about law....ask him about when he was 6 years old, sharp as a whistle.

i get scared knowing he's on the boat by himself. i worry about him falling off or hurting himself but i have to remember that it's the place he loves most. he's lost so much already in his life and i can't take this away from him. he had an accident on his scooter yesterday and fell down a steep hill. he's ok, a bit shaken and his pride is hurt. i just got off the phone with him to wish him a happy 69th. he's decided to take it easy today on the boat. read, enjoy the breeze, listen to some classical music.

this is a man that does not let obstacles get in his way. he has already overcome great barriers and continues to charge forward each day. he has had things happen to him that would crush most people. somehow he looks forward and moves on. i try and capture this spirit in my own life. it's hard.

so today is really his 9th birthday in my eyes... not his 69th. 9 years of survival, nine years of beating the odds. happy birthday dad! i love you and can't wait for what adventures the future will bring us.

♥♥♥